Italia: a palace of turtles, truths, lies and goddesses lying around pearls
my italian background is one that has always been a deep place of mystery, fertility, passion, beauty, creativity, and deep ironies, dichotomies, lies, paradoxes, and in this somewhat of chaos; confusion.
in a time where I deeply value clarity, i feel there is so much value however in exploring the confusion. as seeing it as a Confucious might, bringing some order to the confusion and letting it become clearer what it all means and why i am so blessed ....
ok . here we go. italy. rome. catholic church. south italy. capri. napoli. mother. goddesses literally born on the island of capri. women who so deeply magnetically pull sailors off their boats to surrender to their majestic power and beauty. women so deeply in tuned with their bodies. their sensuality. their desires. creative gifts. music.
and then there is the catholic church in all its glorious windows, cathedrals, costumes, large crowns on old men who hold the gateway to god.
and then there is awe some me. stuck between knowing that a "good girl" would never connect to her luscious desirous powerful mind full body in the face of these systems who hold power and have always given woman a sense of shame that the femininity should hide. hide or be cast out. be raped. be killed possibly. persecution. if i was found out, who i truly was, i would be imprisoned. or held captive, beaten , raped, into submitting to the LAW of the church which without doubt, holds no space for genuine creative expression yet structurally , aesthetically is so beyond beautiful , so clearly mimicks the beauty of the human body. pretends to be the only place that expresses that glory. takes the power from the people. tells us we are small, lowly, people who only in our unworthiness can enter the kingdom.
i now assert: i AM the knowledge, the safety, the Sovereignty and the palace where creativity and jesus live. Christ lives in me, through me, AS ME. The mysteries of the faith are real, are beyond the rational, are ever present, are eternal and it is through ME and through my exploration and commitment to its raw, ethereal, sensual, life-giving, joyful power, that it is known. I take back my power as a beautiful, creative, wise goddess whose ancestors were goddesses living on Capri, Napoli, Italia . Thankyou for teaching me where to go to find God: inside, down below, above and beyond.